Grief and mourning loss is a difficult process in any circumstance. During the pandemic, however, it has been perhaps even more intense given the frequency and magnitude of loss of lives due to the disease. It has posed an existential crisis at a collective level in communities. As individuals and as a community, we find ways to process grief for our loved one and make sense of the pandemic world around us.  The way we socialize and offer support to our near and dear ones is interrupted because of the social distancing norms we have to follow to keep them safe. This has also disturbed some of the outlets to process and express grief that we are previously used to. For instance, we cannot have funerals and practice religious rituals the way we are used to, which would otherwise offer healing outlets to express grief and mourning as a society. Now, the way we socialize is based on technology, through video calls and online prayer meetings.

Many people are experiencing grief during the COVID-19 pandemic. Grief is a normal response to loss during or after a disaster or other traumatic event.

Grief can disrupt the flow of our daily routine.

Types of loss –

Other types of loss include unemployment, or not making enough money, loss or reduction in support services, and other changes in your lifestyle. These losses can happen at the same time, which can complicate or prolong grief and delay a person’s ability to adapt, heal, and recover.

Common grief reactions include:

• Shock, disbelief, or denial
• Anxiety
• Distress
• Anger
• Periods of sadness
• Loss of sleep and loss of appetite

 Five Stages of Grief-Kubler-Ross Model –Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Denial – Denial is the first stage of grief and processing loss. It can be hard to believe we have lost an important person in our lives. Our reality has shifted completely in this moment of loss. It can take our minds some time to adjust to this new reality. Denial attempts to slow the process of grieving. Denial is not only an attempt to pretend that the loss does not exist.

Bargaining-There are many ways we may try to bargain.

• Bargaining can come in a variety of promises including:
• “God, if you can heal this person I will turn my life around.”
• “I promise to be better if you will let this person live.”
• “I’ll never get angry again if you can stop him/her from dying or leaving me.”

When bargaining starts to take place, we often direct our requests to a higher power for a positive outcome. Bargaining stems from a feeling of helplessness. The bargain struck is not one that could actually be kept, but it assists in bringing more control by identifying what could have – or should have – been done to handle the circumstance more effectively.

Depression- During the experience of processing grief we are faced with what is happening and it can lead us to depression. Emptiness begins to roll across life like a dense fog crawling across a lake. Grief enters every moment, every thought with a vengeance. In those moments, we tend to pull inward as the sadness grows. The depression may feel as if it will last forever. We might find ourselves retreating, being less sociable, and reaching out less to others about what we are going through. Although this is a very natural stage of grief, dealing with depression after the loss of a loved one can be extremely isolating.

Acceptance- The final stage of grief is acceptance. In this last phase, people begin to come to grips with their own mortality, that of a loved one. Acceptance does not mean that the person feels good or right about the loss. This stage is about accepting the fact that a new reality cannot be changed. Acceptance means embracing the present – both good and bad. We begin to accept responsibility of what the future holds for us. Sadness and regret can still be present in this phase, but the emotional survival tactics of denial, bargaining, and anger are less likely to be present.

Coping Strategies-

There are both positive and negative strategies for coping with grief. The positive strategies can include proactive optimism, support of friends and loved ones, and keeping healthy. Even the use of humor can be a positive mechanism for overcoming painful situations. Negative strategies would include many forms of denial, escape, or avoidance. Strategies usually are formed to either address the problem (lack of energy, loss of concentration, loss of weight) or the emotion (moodiness, anger, blame).

Those who attempt to handle the problem usually follow a problem-solving approach:

• Analyze the problem
• Determine a desired solution to the problem
• Apply what is already known to the new problem
• Seek the advice and counsel from those who have been through the problem
• Create manageable steps to reach the solution
• Evaluate progress

Taking care of yourself-

Face your feelings. Unresolved grief can also lead to complications such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and health problems.

Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way – through art, music, gardening, cooking and keeping a journal.

Try to maintain your hobbies and interests. There’s comfort in routine and getting back to the activities that bring you joy and connect you closer to others can help you come to terms with your loss and aid the grieving process.

Look after your physical health- exercise and healthy eating habits helps.

When to seek professional help for grief

If you’re experiencing symptoms of complicated grief or clinical depression, talk to a mental health professional .

Contact a grief counselor or professional therapist if you:

• Feel like life isn’t worth living
• Wish you had died with your loved one
• Blame yourself for the loss or for failing to prevent it
• Feel numb and disconnected from others for more than a few weeks
• Are having difficulty trusting others since your loss
• Are unable to perform your normal daily activities