Emotional baggage is a metaphor to describe our emotional stress or burden that though originated in the past, we still carry its residual energy in the present. It is essentially our unresolved mental blockage that dictates our behaviors and influences the life choices we make. A study says our emotional baggage can prevent us from making better life choices.
For instance, if you have suffered neglect or abuse in your first romantic relationship, it might have scarred you so deeply that you have grown to become hyper defensive regarding your heart. As a result, you keep seeing red flags in all your relationships and drive away perfectly good suitors.

1. Trust issues
You may have determined that the special someone you are dating just can’t get past the hurt that they have experienced in their previous relationships. Usually, this means that they were cheated on or hurt badly, causing them to be unable to move past their mistrust of others.
If you are experiencing this, work on self-improvement techniques or consider seeing a therapist, so you can safely and comfortably vent or work past this relationship before trying to enter a new one where you may not trust your partner through no fault of their own.
2. Fear of commitment
Many guys, in particular, have a fear of commitment. They’ve seen other relationships fall apart or have watched their friends go through a negative experience with a woman. If your partner is going through a fear of commitment, be sure that you want to be in a short-term relationship that really isn’t going to progress. Is that what you want?
2. Fear of commitment
Many guys, in particular, have a fear of commitment. They’ve seen other relationships fall apart or have watched their friends go through a negative experience with a woman. If your partner is going through a fear of commitment, be sure that you want to be in a short-term relationship that really isn’t going to progress. Is that what you want?
4. Painful memories
Many people just cannot let go of the past or the memories they have in reference to previous experiences. Maybe they lost a child or had some other deeply impacting deaths happen to them. These are difficult things to let go of, but with the right help, you can find ways to cope with something like this. A trained therapist may be your best option.
5. The inability to let things go
Some people have much difficulty in forgiving and forgetting. This usually means that, in life, they find nagging or bringing up past mistakes to be normal. Being in a relationship like this can be detrimental, as they just don’t have the ability to “forgive and forget.” In fact, a relationship like this may cause you to backslide in life. Be on the lookout for this!
6. Anger issues
Often, those we date just have unresolved anger issues that cause them to blow up over the stupidest little actions we take as a normal part of life. If you are dating an individual like this, watch out for his or her anger to escalate. If they become violent, you should seek help or reach out to a community resource for assistance.
If you have experienced violence or abuse, enlist the help of the authorities.

 

7. Trauma

Typically, going through a trauma of some kind is not the individual’s fault. Maybe they lost a dear family member or had something very scary happen to them. If you are going through this or are dating someone who is, consider enlisting the help of a therapist, counselor, priest, or other trained professionals who can help you get past it.

How to Get Over Your Emotional Baggage
How do you classify baggage? Define it for you and your situation, and think of how it affects your well-being and self-esteem, in particular. How has it affected your past relationships and your life, in general? Are you looking for a way to get past the pain you are feeling?
In most cases, no one enjoys being in failed relationships. There are, of course, those who enjoy casual entanglements and look forward to bouncing from one date to the next.
So, how can you best get over the damage that was left from previous negative experiences, and what words would help you to know how to tackle these issues? Well, you may need to follow a step-by-step plan on how to get rid of this emotional damage, so let’s take a quick look at how you can begin to improve your life once you are freed from these handcuffs.
Step One: Identify your problem areas
Check-in with yourself and find out what has been holding you back in your love life. Do you have one of the common types of emotional baggage going on in your life? Think about the reasons you have been broken up; are they valid reasons, which would give you a clue as to what you can work on, or did they just want out? Determine the reasons you are having trouble.
Step Two: Determine the best way to start letting go
What can you do about the character flaws you identified in the last step? Is there anything that you can work on to make yourself a better person? What are the reasons that exes broke up with you in the past? Once you have a solid list of problem areas, you will best be able to find solutions.

Step Three: Practice self-improvement to free yourself
What did you identify in the last step as the stuff you need to work on? Now is the time to actually work toward achieving your goals. If you have anger issues, find a great self-help book to guide you through the best ways to overcome this. I would recommend books that are like workbooks you can write in; they are interactive and personalized just for you.

Step Four: Give yourself time to heal properly
If you are working on fixing flaws you have, the last thing you want to do is to rush into another relationship. Instead, take the time you need to fix your problem areas and get over the causes of these stress areas. Work on what you need to and get past what caused you to be in the state you are right now. For example, you may need to just forgive an ex for something.
Step Five: Once you are healthy, begin a new relationship
It’s a good idea to wait until you are satisfied that you’ve determined the issues you are carrying around, work on them to the best of your ability, and given yourself plenty of time to heal from your past hurts and hang-ups. When you feel happy and ready for the next phase in life, go ahead and enter a new relationship, but take caution that this person is not like your ex.