“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” ~ Herman Hesse

 

We as living beings have this natural urge to control, a feeling to be in charge. We feel at ease when we eliminate the uncertainty and know exactly what goes where, what happens how, what comes next and what is going on.

However, it is important to realise that, although we would like to, it is not possible to control everything. And, trying to have a hold, a control often times leads to emotions that make us feel uncomfortable.

And the paradox is, the most tangible way in life to increase happiness is to let go of control.

So, ask yourself ‘why do we have this need to control?’

The answer is rather simple, there is a desire ingrained deep into the layers of our consciousness that leads to this need to be in charge of our surroundings and circumstances. Because, when we know we feel safer. The less we know, the more petrified we feel. This petrifying feeling is gives rise to the need of control – specifically the fear of what may happen if you let go of control.  

The need to control everything can give rise to:

• Increased stress and anxiety

• Lack of life satisfaction
• Self-criticism
• Procrastination, not getting work done on time for it to be perfect

 

What Can Be Gained by Letting Go of Control? Now that you know how badly the need for control can impact our lives, it should be no surprise that there is much to be gained from giving it up.

It is like a helium balloon flying fearlessly, like the stones being lightened from a heavy bag one by one. Letting go and conceding to the idea of embracing un-certainty. 

Here are some of the benefits of letting go the need to control:

• • Increased Peace & Relaxation

  • Better Preparedness for the Unexpected – When you are less set on a specific outcome to a situation, you’ll be in a better place to handle whatever the outcome is.

• Embracing the Challenges

• Enhanced Connections with Self and Others- That’s because you are not associating your love and acceptance to specific outcomes.

How to Let Go of Control?

Anything you can do that facilitates you to feel better, with not being in control is admirable. It can be big or small, practiced often or only in moments of need. 

Here are some ways to start off with, ways to guide yourself on this new journey:

• Discern What You Can and Can’t Control

It is essential to know where in life control is needed and where you can let it go. Take a stock of what you have going on right now. Think of the parts of life that you feel in control of, and those that you don’t.  When you have established what goes where, commit to treating situations where you don’t or won’t have control in life differently. This is inclusive of rating your self-worth, and treating people based on outcomes that do not go the way you wished for.

• Being Here and Now

Being here & now means being present. Being in the moment and appreciating everything as it happens can help you accomplish the feeling of surrender.

• Journaling

Writing down your feelings can be cathartic. When you journal, you are be able to think through things in a deeper way, in an self-introspective manner.

• Get Support from Loved Ones

One does not need to go through this process alone! Chances are you have at least one loved one who also tries to control everything about life. Communicate about your journey with your loved ones.

• Seek Therapy

A therapist can help you reflect, understand and find what best suits you to let go and connect with yourself. As a result, you becoming a better and healthier version of your-self. 

There are numerous techniques that a therapist employs in order to facilitate a client’s journey. For instance, our therapists at Society for Complementary Therapies Practice techniques such as Havening, Clinical Hypnosis, Sound Baths, Art & Music based interventions etc.

 

If you or someone you know is having a hard time letting go off control, you can reach out to a Mental Health Practitioner for support. You can reach us at info@sfct.in